An example from leadership psychology.
The “Want Match” is a psychological concept used in the management and motivation of employees. The concept was developed by Mark Murphy, a well-known expert in leadership and motivation. It refers to matching people’s own personal wants and needs with their professional tasks and goals. When a “want match” is achieved, employees are happier, more motivated and more productive because they feel that their personal and professional desires are in harmony.
Imagine an employee who would like to take on more responsibility because he or she wants to develop further and make a career. If the manager recognizes this and offers the employee a managerial position, a “want match” is created. Employees feel understood and valued, and their motivation increases.
However, if there is no “want match”, e.g. if the employee is stuck in a position that does not match their wishes, this can lead to dissatisfaction and lower performance. The concept therefore emphasizes the importance of matching personal wishes with professional opportunities.
The concept of Want Match can be easily transferred to the world of relationships, as relationships are also about matching the wishes and needs of both partners:
If we want to be happy in our relationships, it is important to find out what each partner wants from the relationship and how and whether these are compatible. A “want match” in a partnership means that the expectations, needs and goals of both partners are in harmony or can at least be coordinated.
Example of a Want Match:
Let’s assume that one partner wants more emotional closeness and togetherness, while the other values more independence. A “want match” would be possible if both partners express these wishes and find a way to integrate both into the relationship – for example, by planning fixed times for togetherness, while each partner also has space for individual freedom.
Why is this important?
A lack of agreement on wishes and needs inevitably leads to conflict. If partners have different ideas about love, affection or common goals, this can lead to frustration, misunderstandings and even alienation.
Your steps to the “Want Match”:
1. open communication: Both partners must express their wishes and needs clearly so that the other can understand them.
2. understanding and willingness to compromise: A “want match” often does not happen automatically. Sometimes compromises have to be found so that both partners get what they need.
3. realistic expectations: In couples coaching or therapy, we often work on questioning unrealistic wishes and setting realistic goals that can be fulfilled in the relationship.
Through this work, couples can achieve better harmony and satisfaction in their relationship, similar to how the “Want Match” concept increases satisfaction and motivation in a professional context.
Would you also like to talk openly with your partner about your wishes and needs and work on your relationship together?
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