PaarGespräch

Tag: time_together

  • Let’s talk about sex, baby!

    Fantasies, kinks, fetishes…

    Sexuality is diverse, and there are many different ways in which people can experience their sexuality. You often hear terms like “kinks” and “fetishes”, but what do they actually mean? In this article, we’ll give you an overview of different types of sexual play. Have fun reading 🙂

    What are kinks?

    Kinks are sexual preferences or fantasies that lie outside of what is considered traditional sex. Everyone has different sexual preferences, and kinks are simply something that you personally enjoy or find arousing. An example of a kink would be playing with power and control, as in role play or so-called “BDSM” (bondage, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism).

    What are fetishes?

    A fetish is a particular type of kink in which a specific thing, object or body part triggers a strong sexual attraction. People with a fetish are often particularly attracted to a certain detail. For example, this could be a fetish for feet, leather or certain items of clothing such as stockings. For some people, a fetish is an important part of their sexual arousal.

    Other types of sexual play

    In addition to kinks and fetishes, there are many other ways to explore your own sexuality:

    – Role play: Here the partners slip into different roles, for example teacher-student, doctor-patient or other fantasies. The aim is to slip into a new role and have fun doing it.

    – BDSM: BDSM is a form of play in which power, control and sometimes pain are an important part of the experience. It is important that all participants set clear rules and boundaries and that all actions are based on mutual consent.

    – Sensual games: It can also simply be about experiencing new sensations, for example by touching, massaging or using soft fabrics or feathers. Such games can help to heighten the senses and experience a more intense feeling of closeness.

    Our sex-positive attitude: everything is allowed as long as it is consensual

    At PaarGespräch, we make it clear that – apart from criminal, harmful acts – there is no “right” or “wrong” way to experience sexuality. The important thing is that everyone involved has fun, feels safe and that everything is consensual. Sexuality is a personal thing and every preference is justified as long as it is respectful and based on mutual consent.

    Sexuality is a natural and beautiful part of life, and it’s perfectly fine if you like kinks, fetishes or other sexual play. There are no hard and fast rules – what matters is that you and your partner feel comfortable talking openly about your desires.

    Exercise for couples: discover your preferences!

    1. sit down together: Take your time in a calm, relaxed atmosphere.

    2. talk about your preferences: One by one, each of you share what you like sexually. These can be things you’ve tried before or new things that interest you. There are no wrong answers, and it’s important that you listen to each other without judging.

    3. create a “yes-no-maybe” list: Write the headings “Yes”, “No” and “Maybe” on three pieces of paper. Then write down the things you would like to try out in your sexuality. Things you definitely want to try go on the “Yes” list, things you’re not interested in go on the “No” list, and things you’re unsure about go on the “Maybe” list.

    4. exchange your lists: Compare your lists and talk about what you could try together. This helps to better understand your desires and gives you the opportunity to explore new things in your sexuality.

    5 Try it out: Once you’ve both agreed on something you’d like to try, make a plan for how you can implement it into your sex life. It’s not about trying everything right away, but about discovering new things step by step.

    This exercise can help you get closer and talk openly about your sexual needs. Sexuality is an important part of every relationship, and through communication you can make it even more beautiful and fulfilling.

    Would you also like to talk openly with your partner about your wishes and needs and work on your relationship together?

    Then get the app now and start today!

    All the best from the PaarGespräch team

  • Relationships are diverse!

    And that’s a good thing 🙂

    There are many different ways in which people structure their relationships. The important thing is that both partners are happy and decide together what works best for them. In this article, we explain the most important types of relationship and why they all have their place.

    Monogamous relationship

    A monogamous relationship means that two people are together and only have a romantic or sexual relationship with this partner. This is the most common form of relationship in many parts of the world. The (usually idealized) idea behind it is that both partners give enough to each other and do not need other relationships.

    Sequential monogamy

    Sequential monogamy means that someone only has one partner at a time, but enters into several relationships in succession over the course of their life. This form of monogamy is very common in Western cultures. People are in a committed relationship for a while and when it ends, they start a new relationship with someone else. The new relationship often replaces the existing one, and infidelity and affairs are also common in monogamous cultures: on average, worldwide studies show that around 20-25% of people in monogamous relationships cheat at least once in the course of their lives.

    Some surveys and studies also give higher figures:

    – In men, the rate is often around 20-30%, while in women it is around 15-25%.

    – The differences between the sexes have become smaller in recent years, as women increasingly have similar figures to men.

    (Note: It is important to note that the actual rate may vary depending on the definition of “cheating” (emotional cheating, online affairs, physical affairs, etc.) and the willingness of respondents to answer honestly)

    The reasons for this are manifold and have already been looked at from an evolutionary-biological perspective in recent articles, for example. If you have any further questions, please contact your AI therapist at PaarGespräch!

    Open relationship

    In an open relationship, the partners are together in a relationship that is prioritized by both parties, but they have the freedom – depending on their mutual agreement – to also have romantic or sexual relationships with other people: So they go on dates together, to the swingers club or allow themselves the freedom to have individual trysts with people outside the relationship. It is important that both partners agree on this and set clear rules. Trust and open communication are very important here so that no misunderstandings arise.

    Polyamorous relationship

    In a polyamorous relationship, people have more than one romantic and/or sexual relationship at the same time. Unlike in an open relationship, all partners are emotionally connected and the relationships often have equal importance in the lives of the partners. Polyamory means that someone can love several people at the same time and that all the people involved know about it and agree. Here too, trust and communication are crucial.

    Is there a “right” kind of relationship?

    There is no “right” or “wrong” type of relationship. What works for some does not necessarily work for everyone. Some people feel most comfortable in a monogamous relationship, others prefer an open relationship or polyamory. Sequential monogamy shows that many people have several relationships over the course of their lives, but are still faithful to one partner at a time. It is important that both partners feel comfortable in their relationship and talk openly with each other.

    PaarGespräch’s position on this topic:

    PaarGespräch stands for the absolute openness to try out and accept different forms of relationships. Every relationship is unique and it is important that people find what works for them. Whether monogamous, open, polyamorous or sequentially monogamous – all forms of relationship have their place as long as respect, love and honesty are at the forefront.

    Would you also like to talk openly with your partner about your wishes and needs and work on your relationship together?

    Then get the app now and start today!

    All the best, your team from PaarGespräch

  • The 5 languages of love

    How couples can understand each other better

    Everyone shows and feels love in different ways. Sometimes couples have the feeling that they don’t really understand each other, even though they love each other. The reason for this could be that they speak “different languages of love”. This idea comes from Dr. Gary Chapman, an American anthropologist and couples therapist, who discovered five different ways in which people express and receive love. He called these ways the five languages of love.

    The five languages of love

    1. words of appreciation: Some people feel especially loved when they hear compliments or kind words. A simple “I love you” or “Thank you for doing so much for me” can show them how important they are.

    2. togetherness: It is important for others to spend time together . This is not just about being together, but about giving your partner your full attention – without distractions.

    3. gifts: Small gifts or tokens of appreciation can send a strong message. It is not about the value of the gift, but about the fact that you have thought of the other person.

    4. helpfulness: Some people feel loved when their partner helps them in everyday life, be it with the washing up or other tasks. These acts show that you are there for each other.

    5. physical touch: For many, physical closeness – such as sex, hugs, kisses or simply holding hands – is the most important way to feel love.

    How can you discover your partner’s love language?

    Everyone has a preferred love language that means the most to them. If you know your partner’s language, you can show them your love in a way that makes them especially happy. Here’s a simple exercise for you to do as a couple:

    Exercise: Discover your love languages

    1. talk to each other

    Sit down together and read through the five love languages. Think about which language appeals to you the most. Maybe you speak several languages 🙂 What does the other person do that makes you particularly happy? What do you perhaps miss?

    2. share your thoughts

    Talk openly about your favorite love language. It can sound like this: “I feel very loved when you help me because it shows that you’re thinking of me” or “I really appreciate it when we just spend time together.”

    3. try it out

    Over the next week, try to speak each other’s love language. If your partner values togetherness, plan an activity together where you spend time together. If he is happy about words of appreciation, give him a small compliment every day.

    4. reflect at the end of the week

    At the end of the week, sit down together again and talk about how you felt. What did you particularly enjoy? What can you improve on in the future? Give this exercise a try – it could take your relationship to a whole new level!

    Would you also like to talk openly with your partner about your wishes and needs and work on your relationship together?

    Then get the app now and start today!

    All the best from your PaarGespräch team