When we feel like a fraud
Have you ever had the feeling that you don’t deserve your success? Or that you will “blow your cover” at some point because others realize that you are not as good as they think you are?
It is precisely this feeling that describes the Imposter Syndrome. It means that people constantly feel that they are not good enough, despite their obvious successes and abilities. They feel like “imposters” who have not earned their success.
The negative basic assumptions behind the Imposter Syndrome
Imposter syndrome is often caused by deeply rooted negative beliefs about oneself. People with this syndrome often have thoughts such as:
– “I’m not really as good as the others think I am.”
– “I was just lucky.”
– “At some point, they realize that I can’t do that much.”
The role of emotions in Imposter syndrome
These negative thoughts lead to strong emotions that can put a strain on everyday life:
– Fear: The fear that others will find out the “truth” about their alleged inability.
– Shame: They feel ashamed because they think they don’t deserve their success.
– Stress: They are constantly trying to achieve even more in order to prove to others (and themselves) that they are good enough.
The connection between Imposter Syndrome and self-esteem
People who experience Impostor Syndrome often have low self-esteem. They measure their worth by what they achieve and how others see them. But self-worth should not depend on being perfect or meeting all expectations. Our value as a person is independent of external successes. If we strengthen our self-esteem, we can also overcome the negative thoughts of impostor syndrome.
Tips and exercises to combat imposter syndrome
1. recognize your successes:
People with feelings of impostor often tend to minimize their successes. One exercise that can help is to keep a success diary. Write down every day what you have done well. This will help you to better recognize your abilities and achievements.
2. talk about it:
It can be very relieving to talk to someone about these feelings. Whether with friends, family or a coach – you often realize that you are not alone. Many successful people have similar doubts. It helps to realize that such thoughts are normal and have nothing to do with reality.
3. question your negative thoughts:
The next time you think you’re just lucky or not good enough, ask yourself: Is there any evidence for this? Or is there perhaps much more evidence that you are successful because of your skills? Realize that thoughts are often not true and that you can learn to give them less power.
4. work on your self-esteem:
A good exercise for more self-esteem is to say at least three things to yourself every day that you value about yourself – regardless of external successes. For example: “I am empathetic”, “I am a good listener” or “I am courageous”. These qualities make you valuable, not just what you achieve.
Conclusion
Imposter syndrome can make life difficult because it plunges us into constant self-doubt and anxiety. But it is important to understand that it has nothing to do with reality, but arises from low self-esteem. If we learn to recognize our successes, talk openly about our feelings and strengthen our self-esteem, we can gradually overcome Imposter Syndrome.
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All the best from your PaarGespräch team
