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“The embrace until relaxation” according to David Schnarch

The therapeutic exercise “The Embrace to Relaxation” comes from the well-known American psychologist and couples therapist David Schnarch. He developed this method to help couples build a deeper connection with each other and at the same time release emotional blockages. This exercise is simple to do, but has a deep psychological background and can have a powerful effect on the relationship.

What is the hug to relaxation?

The exercise itself is simple: a couple hugs each other until both partners relax completely. The embrace should be calm and mindful, without words or other distractions.
In many relationships, it often happens that partners either seek too much closeness in emotional or stressful situations or withdraw in order to protect themselves. However, both behaviors prevent a deep emotional connection. Embracing to the point of relaxation is one method of correcting this imbalance.

Why is this exercise effective?

1. physical closeness without distraction: Most couples are often physically close, but rarely in such a conscious and focused way.

2. overcoming fear and insecurity: By learning to endure tension instead of reacting immediately, both partners develop more emotional strength and self-confidence in the relationship. This exercise helps to reduce emotional dependency and take more responsibility for your own well-being.

3. deeper bond: When both partners manage to relax together, the bond between them deepens. This creates a feeling of security and stability that also radiates to other aspects of the relationship.

How it works:

Both partners stand upright and hold each other without pressure, but firmly in their arms. The embrace lasts until both partners can relax physically and emotionally.

Now observe: How are you standing? Are you leaning heavily on each other? What happens when one partner moves and changes position? Is everyone standing on their own with their feet firmly on the ground or are you leaning heavily on each other?

Conclusion

“The embrace to relaxation” is a simple but very effective exercise that helps couples to experience emotional and physical closeness in a deeper and more conscious way. It strengthens trust in the relationship and, through reflection, promotes a balance between individual autonomy and shared closeness.

Would you also like to talk openly with your partner about your wishes and needs and work on your relationship together?

Then get the app now and start today!

All the best from your PaarGespräch team